The K-11 Kevin Blog

The Billy Maze of Splooge

citizenjohnson — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 01:42:02 +0000

After starring in this here infomercial my friends call me the Billy Maze of SPLOOGE!

Donating My Car

citizenjohnson — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 22:02:41 +0000

After a few months of procrastinating when my car wouldn’t pass smog when I tried to register it in April I’ve decided to donate my car. Well, I decided to donate it then but didn’t of course.

I was listening to NPR last week and heard about KCRW’s donation program. It’s really easy. I called to ask about it and in less than 15 minutes I had a time scheduled for next day pick up. www.KCRW.com/cars

It’s been a good car for me. My first one after getting my driver’s license a couple of years ago. Yes I waited until I turned 30 to get my first one.

Goodbye Goldie I will miss you.

I'm not a slob, I've been doing my part to save water.

Liz Huston at Ten Women Gallery

citizenjohnson — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 08:47:36 +0000

I went to Liz Huston‘s artist reception art exhibit at the Ten Women Gallery in Santa Monica today. She has some amazing work on display ranging from photography, in both print and book format, to her newer work mixing antique photography with art. Her books Sacred and At The Threshold of Life were displayed along with prints in the form of greeting cards, matted prints and framed, finished works.

Her work expresses real life emotions through her own photography as well as antique photographs she has melded with art. One look at her work in person will let you know she puts 100-percent of herself into her art. In my opinion, it is worth a lot more than she is asking for it.

These works are available and on display at the Ten Women Gallery located at 2651 Main Street, Santa Monica, CA.

The photos I took at the opening today don’t do her work justice. You have to see it for yourself go check it out.

More photos are available on my flickr.

Liz can be found online at Photomonium.

I Got a Job For a Dildo Factory!

citizenjohnson — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:11:57 +0000

Shhhh… don’t tell my folks, they were just starting to talk to me again. haha

So yeah, I got this job at a dildo factory. Today is the end of my first week. The company is Topco Sales and they make just about anything you might think of when you hear the words sex toys. Call them what you want, marital aids, sex toys, adult novelties, pleasure products… basically the stuff that makes life interesting in the bedroom.

This week the company has sponsored a Top Secret Room in the Malibu Beach House. Information below the photo of the house (in bold) is directly from the first press release I helped with as Topco’s new Copywriter/PR Coordinator.

For the latest on the happenings in the house visit: http://topsecretroom.topcosales.us/

Malibu Beach House

During the entire month of July the Malibu Beach House is a relaxation destination for celebrities, stylists and press featuring the best *SUMMER MUST HAVES* for fashion, beauty, food, home goods and gadgets. This is the 4th annual Silver Spoon Malibu Beach House and the first year that leading adult toy manufacturer Topco Sales is showcasing products at this unique venue.

The Topco Top Secret Room is a special part of the Malibu Beach House and is actually the home’s master bedroom. Locked at all times, it is available only to VIPs by special request. It is then opened by security to reveal a selection of the most sought-after love toys and adult themed products on the market. All manufactured by Topco Sales, the toys include some of the hottest brands in the world of adult novelties, including: Climax, Grrl Toyz, Penthouse Toys, Adam & Eve Signature Toys, Joanna Angel Burning Angel Toys, The 69 Collection, the Private Dancer Stripper Pole and the World Famous Bondage Love Swing.

The Topco Top Secret Room was recently visited by Lindsey Lohan during her birthday over the Fourth of July Weekend. “We heard that Lindsey immediately went over to the Private Dancer Stripper Pole and took a few twirls. She also enjoyed bouncing around on the Bondage Love Swing which is set up within the Topco Sales Top Secret Room. Plus she apparently fell in love with the Grrl Toyz Incognito Lipstick vibe. I heard she snatched one off the night stand and had a blast with it!” says Desiree Duffie, Director of Marketing and Public Relations.

Hey EZ Lube… GO F*CK YOURSELVES

citizenjohnson — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 02:48:27 +0000

I get my oil changed at EZ Lube despite the investigative reports I’ve seen about how they’ve been known to scam people. I’ve been going to the same one for the last year or so and last week had a routine oil change where they, of course, recommended a bunch of other stuff.

When I said no thanks, the guy pointed out a couple things that any idiot could see needed to be done. (ie. the red power steering fluid was the color of a bowel movement). He told me how much it would be, and I told him to put the recommendations in the computer and I would come back.

It seemed fair so I went back today and some other guy gives me an entirely new quote that is double what the original estimate was. When I told him about the estimate I had already received he hit a couple of buttons and said well how ’bout if I can do it for that price?

No EZ Lube… how ’bout you go fuck yourself and I will take my lesbian truck to a real mechanic.

might've worked if he looked like this

ME? Pre-Approved Credit? ha!

citizenjohnson — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 05:56:01 +0000

I came home tonight to find a pre-approved credit message along with a catalog from Fingerhut. My mom used to get their catalogs and I would look through them, literally circling all the things I would buy if I had the money. She was way too wise to let me order anything by promising to pay for it out of my allowance. She knew that was already going to be spent at Taco Bell and she would be left to pay off the debt.

I have to admit that today at the age of 32, there was just a little part of me that sparkled inside knowing I could live out the fantasy of my brat inner child. He’s still there all these years later ready to spend money he doesn’t have. I guess mom is still in there too because I tore up the catalog and put it in the recycling bin instead of ordering that “gold” necklace that says ‘Princess’ I wanted so badly.

what a deal

Nico Stai at Spaceland

citizenjohnson — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 23:43:27 +0000

I saw Nico Stai at Spaceland last night. I heard about him because is on a new show called Rockville CA on TheWB.com. He’s featured in the first episode and there are two performances in the bonus content section of the show’s page. The show is what it is – teeny bopper drama for those who like The O.C. and Gossip Girl… but it’s less um… ritzy?

Back to the point of this blog. I got some pictures of the band performing last night at Spaceland. They’re doing free shows every Monday night and they’re really good live. The place got filled to capacity last night, so get there early next Monday if you want to see them.

Fondled By a Tyger

citizenjohnson — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 00:53:21 +0000

It’s not everyday you get a Handy-J from a hot porn star. Today was one such day for me at the end of a shoot where I got to photograph porn star Tyger Hudson at Rick Castro’s Kinky Camera Club.

The Kinky Camera Club meets roughly once a month and is done in the fashion of old Irving Klaw photoshoots where he would organize photographers to come in and take pictures of Bettie Page.

If you are interested in joining the Kinky Camera Club visit www.antebellum.us.ms

Fondled by a Tyger

Tyger Hudson

Frat Boys vs. Westboro Baptists

citizenjohnson — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:34:58 +0000

My coworker just sent me the link to this video where these frat boys stood up for the rights of their gay friends and classmates when the school allowed protestors against gays to march at the school.

FUCK YEAH ALPHA DELTA PHI!

Vivid 25th Anniversary Party

citizenjohnson — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 15:01:36 +0000

I got to photograph Vivid Entertainment’s 25th Anniversary party tonight at World of Wonder Gallery in Hollywood, CA. Vivid Girls Savanna Samson, Sunny Leone, Hanna Hilton and Megan Malone were there along with Sasha Grey who is in Vivid’s new remake of DEEP THROAT directed by Paul Thomas. World of Wonder is producing the new reality show which goes behind the scenes of the making of the movie. So the anniversary party was both a photo retrospective/exhibit of adult film box covers and on-set photography from the last 25 years, it was also a launch party for the show.

25 Years of Vivid

The photos can be seen on my flickr page.